So inspired by Ma.tt’s birthday wish here is a post about how thinking shapes our reality. It’s a gentle reminder how much our thinking shapes how we perceive ourselves, others and the world. And how important it is to take good care our physical and psychological core needs.
About 9 ago and then again 6 years ago, I had a lot of challenging thoughts to deal with aka. depression. It started with feeling a challenge to connect with other people. And it led to a lot of self-doubt about myself. And it was a bit tougher times, so also a lot of stress was added in the mix. And this creates a ripple effect of things. I wasn’t taking care so much of my core-needs anymore. And I guess most people now what that leads to in terms of side effects. Then started the rebuilding, especially from 2018 on. Mostly 3 parts stood out.
1. Regularly tracking my mood
I started tracking my mood in 2018, and have been quite consistent with it for about 5 years. At first it took more active effort, and then it became more of a habit. I noticed that pleasent or unpleasent moods come and go in waves. Yes, sometimes there is special events that leads to spikes but altogether it’s a longer-term effect. Here are the screenshots from end of 2018 to end of 2023. You can see the emotion at the bottom. And my tracking was not just for the emotion, but also for how much agency I took for my life and everything in it
2. Feeling Good
The work from Dr. David Burns – Feeling Good was also quite essential for me in getting better. Essentially the main point is that our mood follows our thinking. So if we observe our thoughts, keep the ones that are helpful, and discard or replace the other ones that has many benefits. For an intro in Dr. David Burns work I highly recommend the very emotional TED talk of him, and then also his self help book Feeling Good. Want another reason to read it? Studies showed that CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) can have equal effects to taking anti-depressants. And you don’t need to feel extremly depressed for wanting to feel better. It helps in everyday life too – because we think and then feel all the time.
3. Taking good care of my core needs
There is 5 core needs that are important for me to take care of to feel good:
a) drinking enough water & eating healthy food
b) getting enough quality sleep
c) getting enough movement and exercise (a good sweat goes a long way)
d) getting enough rest (or meditation)
e) getting a good amount of social time with other people
Given all of these are taken care of that goes a long way. And yes sometimes one is extended or stretched a bit more. Or other times even two. But if more than two over a longer time are neglected then that always has been an indicator to do something about it. To be extra mindful about it I used Daylio to also track how I’m going with the habits, and how my mood is doing (see 1. and the pictures below)
