Feelings Are Merely Suggestions

In the Arnold Schwarzenegger Netflix documentary he says that most of his life has been focused on taking action. To quote slightly paraphrased: „when you’re a person who always has a goal, that always has a mission, the less time you have to think about, „How do I feel today?“ „Am I depressed today?“ „Do I feel sorry for myself?“ „Have I become a victim?“. I don’t have time for this crap. If you’re busy all the time, you don’t have time to think about this stuff. Let’s move forward. Move move move.“

So that made me reflect back on my own life where for much of the time I was way to much self aware of f my self en emotions. Maybe it was also needed for the time, but I came to the question of „what if feelings are merely suggestions“. Curious about that question and the difference of emotions VS. feelings of course I asked ChatGPT, and got some solid advice. I felt very impressed! (liked that feeling suggestion hehe :)) I’ll copy in the answers:

This perspective encourages a mindful and intentional approach to emotions rather than being controlled by them. Here’s how to think about it:

1. Emotions as Data, Not Directives: Emotions provide valuable insights about your internal state or environment but aren’t commands you must follow. For example, anger might suggest a boundary was crossed, but it doesn’t mean you need to respond with aggression.
2. Pause Before Action: Taking a moment to acknowledge your feelings allows you to create a gap between the stimulus (emotion) and your response. This gap gives you the power to choose a more thoughtful action.
3. Curiosity Over Judgment: Instead of labeling emotions as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ view them with curiosity. Ask, “What is this emotion trying to tell me?” or “Why might I be feeling this way?”
4. Align Actions with Values: After considering your emotions, ask yourself if acting on them aligns with your values and long-term goals. For instance, feeling anxious about a presentation might suggest preparation is needed, but it doesn’t mean avoiding the task altogether.
5. Develop Emotional Resilience: Recognizing that emotions are transient and not the entirety of your experience helps you navigate them without over-identifying. This builds emotional strength and adaptability.
6. Balance Between Head and Heart: Emotions and rational thinking both have their place. Emotions provide depth and meaning, while rationality offers clarity and structure. Use both to guide your decisions.

By seeing emotions as suggestions rather than mandates, you empower yourself to respond thoughtfully and align your actions with your true intentions rather than reacting impulsively.

And more so I asked for the difference between emotions and feelings, because they are not the same. In essence emotions are the physical responses of our body, and feelings our subjective interpretation. Therefore feelings can be changed and interpreted new to be useful.

The terms “feelings” and “emotions” are often used interchangeably, but they refer to different aspects of our internal experience. Here’s a breakdown of the differences:

1. Nature and Origin

• Emotions:
  • Biological and instinctual responses to stimuli (internal or external).
  • Arise in the brain’s limbic system (e.g., amygdala) and involve physiological changes (e.g., increased heart rate, sweating).
  • Examples: fear, anger, joy, surprise.
  • Typically automatic and universal across humans.
• Feelings:
  • Subjective, conscious interpretations of emotions.
  • Arise in the neocortex, involving thought processes and personal context.
  • Examples: pride, shame, love, guilt.
  • Shaped by individual experiences, culture, and beliefs.

2. Timeframe

• Emotions:
  • Short-lived, lasting seconds to minutes.
  • Immediate reaction to a situation (e.g., jumping when startled).
• Feelings:
  • Can last longer, depending on how much you reflect on or dwell on them.
  • May persist as part of your mood or state of mind.

3. Consciousness

• Emotions:
  • Often subconscious and automatic.
  • You may not be fully aware of why you feel a certain way initially.
• Feelings:
  • Require conscious awareness and interpretation.
  • You recognize and label what you’re experiencing as a specific feeling.

4. Complexity

• Emotions:
  • Simple and primal, tied to survival (e.g., fight, flight, or freeze).
  • Typically binary or reactive (e.g., happy vs. sad, fear vs. safety).
• Feelings:
  • More nuanced and complex, often combining multiple emotions with personal meaning (e.g., feeling nostalgic involves sadness and joy, tied to a memory).

5. Relation

• Emotions are the raw, initial reaction.
• Feelings are the conscious experience or interpretation of those emotions.

Example:

1. You hear a loud noise (stimulus).
   • Emotion: You instinctively feel fear, and your body reacts with a racing heart.
   • Feeling: After realizing it’s just a car backfiring, you feel relief or maybe annoyance.

In summary, emotions are automatic, physiological reactions, while feelings are the subjective, conscious interpretation of those reactions. Together, they shape our experience of the world.

So in summary: feelings are there to serve us – and that gives ourselves quite a lot of power 🙂