The last few days I’ve been offline for probably the first time in more than 7 years. I went to Samahita Retreat on the beautiful island of Koh Samui, Thailand. It’s been exactly what I needed for slowing down, refueling, and strengthening my body, as well as looking at the big picture of my life.
As my Japan plans changed to Thailand, I was looking for a beautiful place for guided introspection. With Samahita, I found that place because it’s a very tranquil environment designed to enable that. Together with other people, everyone here is looking for something. Some for healing and getting orientation, others for a healthy holiday instead of an excessive one. Altogether, it’s a lovely bunch of people, and the majority are quite grounded and down-to-earth. I also looked at other retreats, but they were too focused on Chakra & Reiki for my taste. I wanted something that’s understandable with my agnostic and scientific worldview. And meditation practice is very understandable with the effects it has on our bodies. The same with yoga practice, which I see as meditation in motion. Plus, it comes with lots of mobility benefits, much needed for somebody like me working a majority sitting desk job (even if it’s working from around the world).
FRIDAY: Easing into the Retreat, Going with the Flow, and Calming my Body
I arrived on day 1 of my retreat, and instantly it was a very pleasant experience. In the reception area, they have fountains making water sounds. The space is designed to be very open, and the majority of the activities take place outdoors. So in these spaces, I could be outdoors for most of the day, walking around barefoot, enjoying a pleasant massage for my feet. Connecting with people was also very easy right from the start—both the fellow retreat-goers and the staff running the place were very welcoming and warm. My goal for the first day was just to be there. Not overthinking, just enjoying and being as present as possible. In that spirit, I hopped into the ocean, which in the rainy season of Thailand still has bathtub temperature. I just enjoyed the soothing water on my skin, taking in the beautiful surroundings of the ocean, little mountains, and plentiful palm trees. The restorative yoga offered in the afternoon also really helped with easing in. It’s very gentle yoga, similar to Yin Yoga, involving holding the poses for an extended period. Very soothing for the body to get into the groove. Then dinner time came, and I connected with more people, such as Lara, who has roots in Germany and Iran. We got talking, and she explained the ins and outs of the retreat. She has been here already for 6 weeks recovering from a physical accident. So the environment is very beneficial also for a physical healing journey. After dinner, I went for a bit of an evening walk with Lara, and we went bathing in the magical ocean again. It was such a warm day, and I enjoyed connecting with a fellow introspective person. I was also still very agitated from the stress of the weeks before. So Lara recommended a breathing exercise. It goes like this: breathe in a big breath and breathe out while focusing on your feet. I did that 20 times and felt much more relieved. After bathing, we said goodnight, and I settled down into my room for a good night of sleep. The rooms are very well designed for deep sleep. Quiet (there is a no-noise rule after 9 pm), well-functioning AC for good temperature, and very comfortable bed sheets. I felt very well taken care of and excited for the days to come.
SATURDAY & SUNDAY: Breathing Meditation, Yoga Practice & Massages with Ocean Sound
Every day there is a whole range of practices on the menu. For me, I chose to focus primarily on breathing meditation and yoga practice. Everything is optional, so it’s possible to customize it to one’s liking. For example, there have also been fitness classes offered. I only did it on my last day because my body was still recovering from a lot of stress over the last few months. Of course, there is the voice that tells me that I could be doing more, but I know that rest is important, and I’ve been too much on edge for the last few months. So a few more days of active rest, which I would call yoga and breathing, are good for my body and mind. I enjoyed the practices very much and had to realize again how inflexible my hips are as of now. A part of it is probably also my long legs, but I need to step up my flexibility/mobility game. So that was a strong reminder to continue my yoga practice even outside of the retreat. The yoga flow we did had a good pace—it was slower and very purposeful, and due to a smaller group size, I also got individual feedback. For example, for the Downward Dog, I need to place my feet a bit further apart and stretch the fingers of my hand open. This way, I have more support and have a stronger and happier dog, as the yoga teacher would say.
After practice, I had a wholesome brunch and loved the food they offered. So many healthy and yummy options! I ordered poached eggs and ate plenty from the buffet they had offered with homemade bread, homemade yogurt, and plenty of fresh fruits available. Loved it! So much better food than the typical hotel all-inclusive breakfast. And as there are only healthy options available, I felt very content (because with more fatty/unhealthy options I always feel a bit like missing out). And also for the sweet tooth, there were some options with the fresh fruits and homemade jams, so I felt very satisfied.
With all going on and the higher temperatures and humidity on the island, I took a long nap afterward. That felt very restorative again. And with new energy, I went to get a Thai massage. It’s amazing how much energized the body feels after a good massage. In this case, it was given in this hut with an open ocean view. So I loved hearing the ocean while getting my deep tissue massaged. For the massage, I went outside of the resort because the resort charge for it is ~40 Euros. And here in the beach hut, it’s only ~10 Euros with this amazing soundscape. Probably if the resort massage had been ~20 Euros or so, I’d have gone for the resort one. Even in a resort, I do the economic thinking. The rest is all-inclusive though, so that’s awesome not having to worry about that. And for the massages, I got one almost every day of my stay. It’s been really, really good as an addition to get stronger and more relaxed again.
On the days I practiced more yoga, I noticed how my mobility improved a bit and how I got more comfortable being upside down. So Sunday was very calm at first. At nighttime, I needed more time to process some stuff and took that time for myself. Even though there was a full moon campfire on the beach, I chose to do me time and had some personal achievements in understanding, forgiving, and being grateful. Again, it’s awesome to be able to choose in each moment what I need and what is good for me. Lots of possibilities, and no obligations. It’s amazing.
One important conversation I had was with Blane. I shared about my ex-relationship with him and how difficult it felt at the end. It went from a lot of aspirations to a lot of obligations. And even with all the love and kindness we had for each other, it felt incredibly challenging. Probably a big reason why I felt so much stress lately, combined with work stress, which made it more difficult in many other areas of life. And of course, while there are still a lot of things that I can do that are within my possibilities, the impacts of a relationship are quite big. He went through similar struggles, even though much longer for 13 years. In the beginning, it was easier, but then it became more of an obligation for him and his partner, especially because there were so many unspoken expectations. And they didn’t set clear boundaries. So after the relationship ended, in his new relationship, he set very clear boundaries/non-negotiables right from the beginning. So both he and his new partner felt more comfortable right from the start, and could do a lot of building the relationship instead of constantly repairing it. That also enabled both to feel more intimate and fully embrace each other. It’s beautiful and gives me a lot of hope for my upcoming relationships. For now, I just want to be by myself. No obligations to anyone except to myself.
MONDAY, TUESDAY: Being Offline and Going Online Again
It’s been an unusual feeling to be offline for so long. On Friday and Monday of the retreat, my mind went quite a lot to my business. Wondering how that is going with the holiday support. I got my project manager to cover for me, and I know he’s very good, and at the same time, of course, my mind is quite active. It’s unusual for me to be offline. So I wonder how that is going. Do I still have a business? Thinking that jokingly. Of course, once I went online again on Tuesday, everything has been good. It’s going well, and the little things with more urgency that came up could be resolved quickly by him. So what did I do all the worrying for? One of my favorite business coaches, James Schramko, says that when you go on vacation, you can see where the bottlenecks are and then improve them afterward. And with proper precaution, it’s possible to avoid fatal things. So with proper website backups and systems in place, e.g., for password and access sharing for websites, the risks can be mitigated. So I’m happy that everything went well and will go into the next
offline time more relaxed. It will probably be after Christmas time with another retreat. It feels so good for some time without the constant dopamine spikes that come from checking the phone constantly. So I had a lot of time and headspace to listen to my own thoughts and take notes in my journal. It helps to understand the past, process old feelings, and make space for new things to come. So it’s been a very beautiful experience. And of course, on some days, more things came stirred up. And having it as a shared experience and being able to talk with the fellow retreat-goers makes it a beautiful shared experience. I’m so glad to be able to talk with people here about the things that move me and get a lot of understanding and empathy in return.
WEDNESDAY: Easing Out and Continuing the Practice
Now on my checkout day, I’ve been more reflective on how I can continue the practice even after the retreat. And today, my mind has been a lot more active again. I know altogether my body feels much better, and last night, I had quite a lot of thinking. So now things are more stirred up and need to settle again. To do that after the breathing meditation, I’ll treat myself to one more coconut oil massage. Probably good for letting out some stuff from the body.
To continue my yoga practice, I got the Down Dog app and plan to do 15 minutes of yoga per day. Location-wise, I still need to figure out where to do the practice. Because I’m so much on the go, and in the bed, it can be difficult for some of the exercises that need more stabilization. Maybe with a towel on the floor or beach. I’ll figure it out!
Also, there are lots of yoga studios and classes around the world, so I can join the local classes wherever I am. Especially with returning to the same places, I already know how the classes are like.
Gratitude
I’m grateful for the opportunity to step back from my daily routine and focus on my well-being. This retreat has reminded me of the importance of taking time for myself and the benefits it brings to both my personal and professional life.
As I return to my usual pace, I carry with me the lessons learned and the practices that have become a part of my daily routine. I’m excited to see how these changes will positively impact my life moving forward.
Thank you, Samahita Retreat, for providing such a nurturing and inspiring environment. I look forward to the next chapter of my journey with a heart full of gratitude and a mind ready to embrace new possibilities.