I’m currently reading The Courage to Be Disliked, and I recently watched Matt D’Avella’s video on the same topic. One concept that really stood out to me is The Separation of Tasks.
It’s simple, but powerful.
The idea is this: we often take on responsibilities that aren’t actually ours. Like trying to manage other people’s emotions, reactions, or choices. But when you zoom out, it becomes clear: that’s not my task. That belongs to them.
I’ve definitely fallen into that trap—overthinking, wondering if I should have said something differently, trying to pre-empt how someone else might feel. But the truth is, it’s not only exhausting—it’s also impossible. And maybe even wrong. Because it takes away their agency, and distracts me from my own.
So what is mine?
To show up with integrity.
To put out the best version of what I have to give.
To be helpful, when I can.
That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.
It’s weirdly freeing to realize that. I don’t need to fix everything. I don’t need to carry things that don’t belong to me. I just need to be clear on what does.
And then—life gets simpler.