Our minds are wired to take shortcuts—it’s part of human nature. It’s easy to rely on these mental shortcuts to make snap judgments. Last week, we had a guest join us on our workation in Budapest, and he provided a perfect example of how deceptive first impressions – especially if only based on look – can be.
He was born in India, spent the first 14 years of his life in Singapore, and then moved to Germany. His German is impeccable, spoken without any accent, so if you were to hear him on the phone, you’d think he was a native German. But when you see him, your first instinct might be to make assumptions based on appearance—whether Indian, German, or another background—along with any stereotypes that may come to mind.
Over the course of the week, we spent a lot of time together, and it became clear how deeply his thinking aligns with German culture: he values hard work and effectiveness. If I had only trusted my initial impression based on appearance, I might have made an automatic, oversimplified judgment. But that would have been unfair and misleading.
On second thought, I know it’s never accurate to confine someone to a box defined by stereotypes. People are complex, shaped by diverse influences—cultural, personal, and regional. Even within a culture, there are countless variations, customs, and nuances that make each individual unique. Recognizing this complexity helps override that initial, surface-level assessment.
This experience reminded me of the importance of looking beyond first impressions and taking the time to understand who someone truly is, beyond the limited ideas in my mind. Practicing this awareness is an act of mindfulness, and it’s worth the effort to see the richness in others beyond what we first assume.